Geneffects: April 2005

GRE and SAT vocabulary

If you love the English language, and I know you do, you need to sign up at Vocablog and write some entries! This website will revolutionize the way we view GRE and SAT vocabulary.

Tiger Ready

Everyone should know that since all Geneffects applications are written in Java, they are immediately compatible with the newest Apple OS, Tiger. That is to say, they are tigerready.

Check em:

Everything Happens for a Reason

"Well, everything happens for a reason," Laura Kightlinger would say. "Which is good that people say that out loud, 'cause when you say it in your head it begins to sound like, 'well, anything can happen with a razor.'"

Middle Finger Emoticon

Here's one for all the Riot GRRRLS out there.

Luck Ab0unds

1 937 7h3 1mpr3$$10n 7h47 1'm b£3$$3Ð. $3r10µ$£¥. 7h1n9$ jµ$7 $33m 70 w0r|{ 0µ7 ƒ0r m3. $0m3 r34Ð3r$ m4¥ 7h1n|{ 7h1$ 1$ 4££ 4pp£¥1n9 70 7h3m, bµ7 0n£¥ |{1nÐ4. 1'm 7074££¥ $74r9421n9. $µnÐ4¥ n19h7 w4$ br1££14n7. 901n9 $0 w3££ 1n ƒ4(7 7h47 1'm $(4r3Ð 3v3n 7¥p1n9 7h1$ w1££ j1nx 7h3m

How do bad bands even form?

How do bad bands even form? It's like when you hear about people with really weird fetishes meeting someone with exactly the same fetish. How the hell do these people meet? Do all of them equally enjoy what they are now part of? Do bands like The Locusts and The Liars exists solely to challenge my philanthropic ideals?

Last time Mike Patton came to the Cradle it was as Tomahawk. While performing he put the mic down to a guys mouth so he could sing the next line, but the guy looked up with the, "I don't know" expression. Mike yells, "you stupid redneck!" and keeps up with the song. A minute later he puts the mic down to the same guy and this time the guy is wearing a somber, "what are you doing?" face. "Fucking redneck!"

And I realized something last night: The spaces before encores are actually opportunities for the more tired of the audience members to politely leave.

Return of the TamPod!!

Furthering my quest to have this blog served an injunction by at least somebody, Carolyn Sewell, my new best friend from DC, has given me permission to post her take on the TamPod:

MaxiPod

Intro to Genetic Algorithms, Music

Genetic Algorithms (GAs) are a branch of computer science that liberally borrows philosophies from modern genetics. GAs try to find solutions to problems by coming up with a lot of random solutions (your gene pool), choosing the best from those individuals (natural selection) then "mating" these solutions to make (hopefully) better solutions.

If it'll help wrap your mind around it, this method could be applied to music. Come up with a lot of tunes which are random notes. Some may sound better than others. Then make a new set of tunes by taking the best tunes and exchanging and mutating some of their notes (which is their genetic code). The next generation will have some of the properties of the good songs from the previous generation and maybe even be better. Repeat until you've got a hit.

Fete D'Avril

All holidays should be celebrated with a two-day orgy. Hunting for eggs? Microwaving peeps? What the hell kind of spring celebration is that? The only opportunity this puritanical society gets to properly initiate the rites of spring is if, by chance, your town's college wins the NCAA championship. Then it's been so repressed that it explodes and all rules of society are tossed to the ground like so many pairs of underwear. Bonfires; people naked in trees; and sex on the hood of cars shouting, "go heels!"

I went downtown after the game to catch some of the revelry. After about half an hour, it got kinda old. There was nothing there. No substance. People were partying just for the sake of partying. Kind of like the Rodney King Jr. riots. Were people so outraged that they had to express their anger through looting, or were they looking for an excuse to get that new hi-fi system?

Anyhow, I had to go. On that night, I'm sure Chapel Hill was the biggest party city in the whole world. You've gotta take part in a global event like that.

Go Heels!

Not the Star Wars Geeks I know

Did you see this? Star Wars geeks in line at Grauman's will answer payphone calls

I especially like this line: "Abby sez, 'Just spoke to a nice guy in line named Elliot. He's 21 and got laid off from his job in January...'"

'Cause when I read it, it initially looked like, "Just spoke to a nice guy in line named Elliot. He's 21 and got laid..."

I kind of stopped and took a quick breath before I read on. My whole foundation for understanding American social structure nearly came crumbling.

Don't Fuck With Me

Last night someone broke into my house.

It was 5:30 in the morning and I heard noises. I jump out of bed and I see a shadowy figure sort of hunched near the door. I yell something and it may well have been "get out of my cave!" because I was acting on pure neanderthal fight reflex. I push him into the wall and am just about to hit him in the face, but something stops me. It's Dan, my roommate coming back late from his tour.

"Man, I'm sorrry! I didn't realize it was you."

The awkwardness is just about to pass, but then I remember: I'm completely naked.

"Um.. sorry for attacking you naked. G'night."

Geneffects