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Geneffects

I write the software for Geneffects and tend bar at the Cat's Cradle in Carrboro, NC.

Friday, January 14, 2005

Traffic Jam

"All right, that was the latest single from Fourth Generation Nirvana Rip-off! Let's go to Chopper with our evening traffic. How are the roads lookin' today, Chop?"

"Thanks, Reg. I'm live-in-the-sky with a rush-hour update! We're seeing some congestion on highway 54 near the 55 intersection where traffic is backed up about two light cycles. I-40 westbound is moving along as smoothly as possible considering that with all the construction it's been reduced to one lane. Out on the Belt-line there are minor d... Wait a minute... Reg, I'm presently over I-40 and we've got a driver on the westbound side nearing the Jordan Lake exit who has apparently gone insane and stopped in the middle of the road! As I said before, it's one lane, so 40 has instantly become a parking lot! Okay... It looks like she has gotten out of her car to make a phone call!! Cars are honking and hand gestures are being made to convey to this young lady that perhaps this isn't the best of ideas. Reg, what could this girl be thinking?"

"Maybe she's taking those 'don't drive and talk' bumper stickers a little too seriously?"

"Entirely possible as she has clearly lost her mind. One moment... it looks like... Okay... she's getting back in her car... okay, it looks like she's going now. Okay, folks it's... No.. wait.. she's stopping again and making another phone call. It's like she's taunting us!""


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